Many people
tend to say that as long as you feel great on the inside, you will look great
on the outside. But it never really seems to work out that way now, does it?
Please do not misquote me. I do believe in beauty inside and out. I believe in
having a good and lovely spirit. However, I recently found out when it comes to
confidence, you fake it till you make it. I also realized I have been doing
this for years and I never really knew that. Like for example, when I want to
get down and dirty with work, even when I am not feeling like it, I will dress
up in comfortable ‘work’ clothes, and I will be fine. Or, dress up with my
girls when we are really broke…we actually do that…to feel rich. Yeah, don’t
judge us, we are crazy.
So, about confidence. The
first way in is body language. Body language says a lot about you, just like
you deduce a lot from your neighbor through it. It will project feelings of
confidence, self-worth, or pity, desperation or a ‘can’t do’ attitude. Thing
is, the same mojo you project to your counterpart is the same one that you
project to yourself without even realizing it. According to Amy Cuddy in TED
talks, when you have that power pose on, you stimulate testosterone hormone
that is identified with less stress and positive attitude. Shrunk poses, or ‘beat
down’ body language stimulates a hormone called cortisol, identified with
higher stress levels and a weak will. You guys should really watch those TED
talks.. https://www.ted.com/talks .
Choose whatever strikes your fancy.
After body language comes
your personal hygiene. Make sure you smell good and you are really clean. Ever
had that one guy around you that is super confident and his breath smells like stink
fish?? I bet you duck into hiding when you hear him coming your way. What we
are looking for is that easy calm confidence that shows when you walk into a
room. When you do not have to say a lot but then everyone listens to you when
you talk. You are very noticeable, but you always blend in.
Clothes!!! You do not have to
have the latest trend for a confidence boost. Just make sure they fit well. And
by fit, I do not mean tight, you skinny jeans lovers. I mean fit. You always see
that girl, right? The one that always tries to fit into really really tiny
clothes? (Insert British accent). Yeah…not very confident when she is always
pulling down that mini now, is she?
Being an expert in a certain
field also does increase confidence. Or having that calling or purpose in life.
And it really does not mean that you have to have that sudden epiphany that
comes along with visions and a bright light and angels. This is real life
people!!!(Though if you have ever had one of those, you are one of the lucky
ones). Offer to be a volunteer somewhere or start a charity or something.
Giving back to society really helps build yourself. Or, join the local soccer
team. Offer to catch the little guy’s team in your neighborhood.
Hope you do find what you are
looking for. And that through confidence, you become a happier version for you.
Fake it till you make it. Till next time, xoxo…Eve.
